Picking Figs

Early today, an adult blue jay flew into the upper branches of the tree to perch, and I realized the figs were adults and ready for harvest — and then recollected how important it is to pick the first ripe figs immediately, because if I can harvest enough of these little globes just when they’ve turned from tannish-green to umber, I can push the avian and furred pirates out of my ocean — an essential task because their report cards are annotated “does not share well” — and they don’t just consume a few figs, the small amount that would fill their grey pelted or scarlet feathered bellies, but ruin pounds of figs because some…