Thanksgiving Recipe Poem 2021

Ingredients:

1 Partner

1 Child 4–6 years of age

1 Child 8–10 years of age

1 Set of Parents

1 Set of In-laws

1 Brother, spouse, and two teenage boys

1 Uncle Bob between 72 and 75

2 Cases of Mixed Five-Year Old French Bordeaux and Spanish Riojas, both white and red

Usual Foods — turkey, sweet potatoes, broccoli, lettuce, cranberries

Seasonings

1 Set of Comments About Republican Obstructionism

1 Set of Rejoinder Comments About Incompetent Liberals

1 Set of Comments From Older Relative and In-Laws Regarding Child-Rearing

2 Glasses of Wine Beyond the Capacity of Every Adult

2 Questions Regarding the Purchase of European Rather Than American Wines

Two days of Parents Wandering Around House Clucking Tongues and Shaking Heads

Endless Patience

Two Day Supply of “I’m Sorry You’re Having Such Trouble”

Instructions

Begin preparations on Wednesday before the Holiday, as relatives straggle in three hours late — hungry and tired from traffic. Universal opinion is that tail-gating, speeding and failure to use turn signals is the new normal. Discuss whether Uncle Bob should still be driving, while…